Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!
by Amorye
Summary: The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!
1. Introduction

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: I got the inspiration from a DP story, also a Know Your Stars thing. But in this fic, it's not the Danny Phantom characters being tortured. It's the WWE wrestlers! Rated for insanity, randomness, adult themes, and cursing.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars... _

The phantom annoying guy returns after the cancellation of the popular NIckelodeon TV show, "All That!"

He's here to torture the WWE Superstars about things they don't want others to know. So, readers, beware and remember the following, because you never know if you're the next one... the WWE stars don't know this, so SHHH!!!:

The phantom annoying guy is omniscient. He knows everything, that's why he can annoy people.

The phantom annoying guy knows you just don't want to admit things he says because they're true and embarrassing. Just come clean and say that what he says is all true.

The phantom annoying guy will not stop unless you come clean. So whatever he says, say it's true, because you'll embarrass yourself more if you deny everything he says.

The phantom annoying guy will make you cry, no matter how tough you are! Your deepest, darkest secrets will be revealed!

The phantom annoying guy cannot be seen anymore. He no longer stays in that room. No one knows his whereabouts or who he is. So you can't make him get out of his hiding place. You cannot physically threaten him!

The phantom annoying guy cannot be sued in court. He has no real name nor can he be found.

The phantom annoying guy is evil and merciless. Do not plead for him to stop unless you want more secrets to be revealed.

The phantom annoying guys says things behind your back. Don't be surprised if some people begin questioning you about odd stuff you don't want them to know.

The phantom annoying guy stalks you. That's why he knows so much.

And finally, the phantom annoying guy attacks at any time. You'll never know when or where he will strike next!

* * *

Thank you for reading the reminders. Remember not to tell any WWE star about this sheet, or you spoil your fun and the phantom annoying guy's fun. He will haunt you if you reveal this information.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED... 

Who must I torture first? cackles maniacally

Review please!


	2. John Cena

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Ooh! Thanks for the reviews, guys! That was pretty fast. And I will try to torture everyone in the company. Must. Not. Spare. Anyone! Must. Drink. Coffee. And. Coca-Cola!

Sorry for the late update. Busy weeks. Exams, graduation practices... grad, other fics, sports... and more. Ugh!

Okay, so I decided that I'd start with Mr. Popularity himself, John Cena! I love to torture the guy! Wahahahaha! I feel strangely hyperactive today! (bounces on a nearby bed and comes back.) Ahem. Onwards!

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_John Cena. He bribed Mr. McMahon to win his championship!_

"No I didn't! He did it himself!" yelled John. "Liar."

_John Cena. He sucks his thumb while he's asleep._

"I don't!" he yelled, slamming his fist on the chair, creating a dent on it. "Well, I did, when I was a kid, but I don't do it anymore!"

_So you admit you do._

"Did." snapped John.

_Thumbsucker! Thumbsucker! He still wets his bed at night!_

"Who gave you that idea, asshole?"

_John Cena. He's just a kid wanting to be an adult._

"I'm 29 years old, dimwit! I'm no kid!"

_That's what he wants you to think._

"Don't believe him!"

_John Cena. Is afraid of the dark._

"No I'm not!"

The lights are turned out. It's pitch black, and we hear a girly shriek coming from someone.

_A-ha! So you are afraid! Fraidy-cat! Muahahahahahahahahahaaaa!_

"Turn the lights on!" And they did.

_John Cena. He wants to be on American Idol._

"I don't sing. I rap."

_Then wrap a gift for me._

"No way."

_John Cena. He eats his dad's socks!_

"That's disgusting!" he yelled, frowning.

_John Cena. His nickname is Jocky Jocky Jocky Jock Jock Jack Goo._

"That's bizarre! I don't have a nickname that long... Jocky Jocky whatever it was is NOT my nickname!"

_Oh really, Jocky Jocky Jocky Jock Jock Jack Goo? Isn't that what your bedmate Randy calls you in his sleep?_

John's jaw dropped, but he shoved it back up. "I'm gonna kick your ass!"

_Now you know... John Cena... the bribing, thumbsucking American Idol wannabe that's scared of the dark, eats his dad's socks and has a nickname by his secret lover._

"No they don't!" he yelled. "He's lying! Don't believe a word he says! And I do not sleep with men!"

* * *

Not too funny? I've been on writer's block for some time, sorry about that. 


	3. Tripsy erm Triple H

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Wheee. You guys rock! If you have any ideas on who you want to torture, feel free to leave it in your review, or you can PM me about it.

And about the gay jokes, sorry! LOL. Can't help it. I drink caffeinated stuff before writing, so it's totally random. Caffeine is rather strong on me.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_Triple H... he watches daytime soap operas and cries when he watches them..._

"No I don't! I don't know that Maia is pregnant and has to marry Antonio and that..." he stopped. "Shit!"

_Triple H... he keeps a collection of scented condoms... from each girl and guy he slept with..._

"Stay out of my closet, asshat!" he yelled. "I don't sleep with men!"

"That was mine, shitwad!" injected Cena, who took a seat in the back in utter humiliation.

"Shut your piehole, Cena!"

_Triple H... his favorite food is monkey brain._

"Where the hell did you get that idea? It's disgusting! And I hate monkeys!"

_Triple H... he has over twenty posters in his room... of Justin Timberlake._

"No way, dude! Well, I _used _to, but I'm over it..."

_And added kisses and hearts on them._

"Now that is _not _true! I am _not _a fanboy!"

_Oh? Well, here's proof!_

A tarp with a picture of Triple H's room went down. It did contain the accusations from the Know Your Stars guy.

Triple H turned red.

_Triple H... he sings in the shower._

"No! Ask the guys in the back. They know that I don't sing in the shower!"

_Sure? How about this recording? Ring any bells?_

Sounds of water pouring down were heard, and a few moments later, a way off-key voice was heard singing to Welcome to the Black Parade.

"That's not me!"

_Now you know... Triple H. The off-key shower singer who idolizes Justin Timberlake that eats monkey brain, collects condoms, and watches soap operas. __  
_

"No they don't!"

_Yes they do!_

"Don't listen to that liar! He's probably just making that up! You gotta believe me!"

* * *

LOL. That was wayy random too. Next one's Batista, then John Bradshaw Layfield, then Edge. After Edge, I dunno. I'll let time help me decide. Or you guys can change the order too. 


	4. Edgy Bear

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: OK, by popular request, I think. XD Edge is next! Muahaha! Thanks for the reviews!

I just ate a heavily chocofied cupcake! Yay chocolate!

BTW, my alerts haven't been working out lately. Anyone else having the same?

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._

_Edge... he's not the Rated R Superstar. He's the Rated R Stupid Star._

"Hold on just a damned minute! I am not stupid!" yelled Edge.

_Edge... he's stupid because he fell in a ditch and had to be pulled out with the help of a little girl!_

"Hey! Fuck off... How'd you find out about that?"

_Edge... he's so stupid that he couldn't answer his sixth grade math test!_

"I wasn't ready to answer! Besides, I hate math!"

_Edge... he was named Biggest Wannabe of the Year that sucks on eggs, makes love with his tag team partners and eats paper and plastic._

"Where the hell did you get that? I do not suck on eggs, make love with my tag team partners, nor eat paper and plastic! It's all disgusting! And I'm no wannabe, you loser!"

_Edge... he was dumped by Christian for botching manlove._

"Stop making gay jokes, you fucktard!"

_Edge... he keeps a frilly pink dress in his closet._

"I do not! Stop making false accusations!" he yelled, shifting his gaze from one corner to another, hoping to find that idiot who kept saying a lot of stupid things.

_Edge... he gets a monthly manicure and pedicure._

"I'm not girly! I don't do manicures!"

_Edge... he's a momma's boy._

"Yeah. I am." he said with a smirk.

_He admits. _

"AH-A! You fell for it!"

_I'm not as stupid as you are. Fact, you're as stupid as you look._

"No I'm not!"

_Edge... he lost a hundred thousand dollars to a little boy when he made a bet about Canada's hockey game..._

Edge's face paled. "I didn't! I never did!"

_Now you know... Edge: the stupid star who's as dumb as he looks that was named the Biggest Wannabe of the Year that sucks on eggs, makes love with his tag team partners and eats paper and plastic that botches manlove and is actually a gay person that loses bets to little kids._

"No they don't! Everything he says is a lie! I mean it! Don't listen to him! I'm not gay!"

* * *

Ah, Edge was fun to torture. LOL.

I think I'll do Batista next. Who do you want?

Don't worry. I'll do the divas too.


	5. Batista Barista

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Thanks for the reviews, guys! Appreciate them so much. Like I said, I'll try to torture everyone I can, so no worries of missing some.

BTW, I'mma torture VINCE in some chapter. Help me think of stuff to torture him with. XD It's the granddaddy chapter. LOL. Vince ish fun to annoy. He will be annoyed by ALL the WWE superstars. Why, I won't say yet.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._

_Dave Batista... he stole a lollipop from a kid outside the bar._

"I was hungry, dammit! And broke!"

_Dave Batista... he wasted his all money on steroids!_

"I do not take steroids! I was robbed, you dimwit!"

_That's what he wants you to think..._

"NO! That's what _he_ wants you to think!"

_Dave Batista... he was a band geek in high school._

"I was not a band geek! Okay, fine, I was a SPORTS geek. Clear?"

_There's no such thing as a sports geek of which you speak..._

Batista rose off the chair and looked around for whoever it was. "Where are you? And there is such a person!"

_Dave Batista... he eats rice mixed with dog food!_

"I do not! That's disgusting!"

_You're disgusting..._

"You're creepy!"

_Dave Batista... he thinks my grandmother is hot._

"I don't know her! I wouldn't know who she is or what she looks like. I do not think old people are hot!"

_Dave Batista... he got arrested for pickpocketing Rey Mysterio's son._

"Are you calling me a thief?"

_Are you calling me a liar?_

"Gah!"

_Dave Batista... he works part time as a barista in Starbucks... and steals peoples' loose change!_

"That's not true!"

_Now you know... Dave Batista... the evil barista who is a pickpocketing thief that steals candy from kids and loose change from people at Starbucks, lusts for old people, eats rice with dog food, being the dog he is, and is about to get arrested!_

"No they don't! He's the liar--"

Police enter the stage and take Batista away, as he is screaming and cursing the Phantom Annoying Guy.

* * *

No sugar. Daaaang. So I'm pretty much doing this randomly... LOL. 


	6. Hippie Bitch Kid

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Whee. Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the late, late, late update.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._

_Shawn Michaels... he's actually a hippie._

"I ain't no hippie! I'm HBK, the Heart Break Kid, not the Hippie Bitch Kid!"

_Shawn Michaels... he burped in the middle of his school play._

"No way, dumbass! I didn't burp. I coughed!"

_That what he wants you to believe._

"No! I speak the truth!"

_Shawn Michaels... he married and divorced Triple H on the same day because he found out Triple H hated his hair._

"We were never married, so how could we get divorced? Hello?"

_Shawn Michaels... he uses hair growth medicine on his chest._

"No way! That's gross. And even if I did, why am I not as hairy as you are?"

_I'm not hairy. Check yourself out in the mirror. But don't wear glasses. They might crack._

"Fucktarded son of a bitch!"

_Oooh. He insulted me. Is that all you've got?_

"You wanna bring it on, bitch?"

_No... I'm not gay..._

"I'm not either!"

_Shawn Michaels... he used to suck on his feet._

"What the hell? I don't!"

_Shawn Michaels... he lost a bet that cost him a million dollars, thinking he could pull out the same cards out of four decks of cards._

"No way!"

_Shawn Michaels... he burned soup._

"That's idiotic, dude!" he says, and quickly covers his mouth.

_Dude? Hippie!_

"No!!!"

_Now you know... Shawn Michaels... the lying, retarded hippie that uses hair growth medicine on his chest, married and divorced Triple H on the same day, sucks on his feet, lost a million dollar idiotic bet, and stupidly burned soup._

"They don't know me! I swear, everything he said were whole lies and half-truths! Hey! Hey!!!"

* * *

Meh. _  
_

_Major _writer's block.

Sorry I haven't been so high lately. Review?


	7. I Want My Mommy!

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Nyah, sorry for being a bad author. Late updates, cause of school. Man. Anyway, here's the next installment... Randall Keith Orton!

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_Randy Orton... he loves High School Musical._

He raised an eyebrow. "I do NOT! I don't watch kid's shows!"

_Randy Orton... he thinks John Cena's cute._

At that moment, Cena enters the room, and yells, "I knew it!"

"John, you wish!"

_Randy Orton... he always fails to distinguish a glass window and a glass door from open space._

"Hey! Anyone can make that mistake!"

_Yeah, if they're idiots._

"GAH!"

_Randy Orton... his RKO actually stands for Randy Knows Oral..._

"FUCK YOU! THOSE'RE MY INITIALS, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

_Oh, Randy, that hurt. I'll get my revenge... when I take away **NumNum **your teddy bear..._

"No! Not..." he cleared his throat. "Dammit." he said under his breath.

_Randy Orton... he just plain sucks._

"Asshole! That the best you've got?"

_Nah. I'm just being easy on you cause I know you're gonna cry._

"No I'm not!"

_Baby._

"Not!"

_Baaaaa-by._

"I'm not!" he yelled.

_Queer baby._

"I'm not a queer!"

_Queer. _

"I'M NOT!" he yelled, a little brattier this time.

_Crybaby!_

"Fuck off!"

_LOSER. YOU WANT YOUR MOMMY, DON'T YOU? YOU YELLED FOR YOUR MOM IN A MATCH, REMEMBER? REMEMBER?  
_

"GAH! MOMMY!" he screamed, jumping off his seat and disappeared into the door.

_Now you know... Randy Orton. The queer idiot crybaby that loves teddy bears, High School Musical, and John Cena. _

* * *

I think I'll do either Shane or Rey next. Review!_  
_


	8. Gadget Jinx

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Guys.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the reviews. Hahaha. I'm just so happy that people like what I write, and that the reviews came really fast.

And yes, he did say "mommy" one time in the ring. I think he was tossed out of the ring or something, yeah, and we hear him grunt in pain, then if you listen really carefully, he says it. I think it's cute he calls for his mom. Hahaha. I don't know which match it was, though. Waaaah.

And to A Fan, yes, John's cute. XD

Sorry for the late update. I typed this some time before, and my connection broke. Grrr. I was disheartened to retype it at the time.

School SUCKS. It's only the first quarter yet it feels like the fourth.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_Shane McMahon... he's such a loser._

"Ahem. Look who's talking."

_Shane McMahon... he's never had more than one girlfriend. Loser._

"It's true love you faggot. Besides, I'm one of the people that doesn't actually rush for love."

_Shane McMahon... he's overweight._

Shane frowned. "I am NOT! I'm perfectly normal for my height!"

_Shane McMahon... he stupidly left his PSP nearby a swimming pool._

"Hey, I was rushing! Not my fault Orton "accidentally" kicked it."

Orton snickered.

_Shane McMahon... he flushed his iPod down the toilet._

"It FELL!" he yelled.

_Shane McMahon... he stole $1,000 from his dad's wallet..._

"I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, STUPIDHEAD!" he said, jumping out of his seat.

_Shane McMahon... he's guilty._

"No!"

_Yes you are._

"No!"

_Yes you are._

"No!"

_Yes you are._

"No!"

_Yes you are._

"No!"

_Yes you are._

"No!"

_No you aren't._

_"_Yes!"

_AHA! So you are guilty. I'm calling the cops!_

"I DIDN'T!"

_It's ringing..._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Hello? Officer, I'd like to report a robbery._

"It's as if you haven't stolen anything from your parents!"

_Oh... really? All right then. Come to WWE HQ. You're looking for Shane McMahon. All right. Thanks._

"DAMMIT NO! I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING!"

_Shane McMahon. He's about to be arrested._

Sirens blared and lights flashed.

"Shit! I need to get out of here." he yelled.

He ran to a wall and slammed it with his fist. He yelled in pain, but the passage opened up and he jumped in.

_Now you know... Shane McMahon. The lying, overweight idiot that leaves PSPs by the pool, flushes iPods down the toilet, and steals money from his parents!_

_

* * *

_Psshuh. I'm running outta ideas. XDDD REVIEW. 


	9. Pole London

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Hey! Thanks for the reviews. Haha. Okay, it's time to torture one of my favorites! Hahaha. Paul London!

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_Paul London... he used to be a pole dancer._

"No way!" he shot out of his seat. "I don't like dancing. And poles for that matter."

_Paul London... he enjoys talking to doors._

"I DON'T! Only reason you see me doing that is when I talk to people who don't want to open their doors. Lazy bitches."

_Paul London... he loves a good serving of BK._

He frowned. "Burger King sucks."

_Oh yes. He sucks HARD. Both do, actually._

He gasped. "What're you implying?"

_Two BKs with a PL, coming right up._

"I am NOT gay!"

_Paul London... he has pink bedsheets._

"Ew, no."

_Paul London... he uses Chap Stick._

"The _unflavored_ one. I hate chapped lips!"

_Paul London... he shaves his legs._

"NO! That's a girl's chore!"

_Paul London... he's emo._

"I'm not emo!" he said. "What the fuck makes you think so?"

The camera zooms in to a cut on his wrist.

_That says otherwise..._

"I hurt myself cooking!" he yelled, exasperated. "Why can't you let me be?"

_Paul London... he lives with nuns._

"I don't! I live in a condominium alone! Which I barely use..."

_Paul London... he just ate 8-year-old ice cream._

"GROSS!"

_Now you know... Paul London. The poledancing, door-talking, BK-loving, ChapStick-using, leg-shaving emo that has pink bedsheets, lives with nuns, and eats aged ice cream._

"This is bizarre! Don't believe a word that comes out of his fucking mouth! Hey! I'm gonna kill you when I find you! Are you listening to me? Hey! Hey!"

* * *

I'm not sugar high. Hahaha. Oh well. Review! 


	10. Gangsta Damnit!

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: Yay! Another chapter!

Reviews are lalalalaLOOOVE. Thanks for reviewing(despite me being a not-updating-sucky-author.) LOL. Sorry. Schooool keeps me from updating but let's not get into that. XD

Kane!

YEAY! I'M HIGH ON C2! It's a brand of green tea here.

Remember, these are all not true! This is just for your entertainment and my boredom.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_Kane... he likes teddy bears._

Gasps and whispers buzzed about the audience._  
_

Evil laugh. "You are fucking retarded."

Kane... his favorite _color is pink._

Kane laughed again. "I... _don't..._ like... _you."_ he said in his creepy whispery voice.

_Kane... he watches My Little Pony._

"I hate that show." he said, simply.

_My Little Pony! My Little Pony! _blared the speakers.

"GAH!" said Kane, covering his ears. "It BURNS! FUCK YOU!"

_Kane... he actually fears his own gimmick._

"I... do... not. Fucktard." he said hoarsely.

_Kane... he lives in a cardboard box._

"Listen up, yo. Cause that is shit dude. Don't listen to tha nigga. He fooling you." He slapped himself.

_Kane... he just revealed to the world that he's influenced by John Cena._

"Shut up dawg!" He slapped himself again.

_Kane... he eats plastic!_

"Liar."

_Kane... his nickname is Wigglywibbywichichibi._

"You are stupid, you know that? That's even longer than my name is! I swear, I'm gonna kill you!"

_Kane... I'm calling the police._

"IDIOT!" he yelled. "I'm coming up there whether you like it or not!"

_Kane... he's about to be arrested for attempted murder..._

Kane stormed off the seat and ran off to the PA room.

_Kane... he thinks he can find me..._

_But he can't..._

_Now you know... Kane... the pink-loving, teddy bear-loving, My Little Pony-watching, gimmick-fearing wannabe gangsta influenced by John Cena with a stupid nickname of Wigglywibbywichichibi who's attempting to find a nonexistent being..._

_Fool.__  
_

**In the PA room...**

"Where are you?"

He groaned.

_May 19, May 19..._ mumbled voices in the nonexistent background.

"NOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Review! Who do ya want next? Taker's saved for last. XD Unless I change my mind.  



	11. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Tiny Blah Blah

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

A/Ns: I never imagined 72 reviews for one of my stories. XD Hahaha. Thanks, people. Even if I do suck at updating.

Finally, we're on sem break! Yaaaaay!

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..._**

_Rey Mysterio... he's no mystery._

"Yes I am! Whatcha know about me? Whatcha know?" (Lipgloss tune - Lil' Mama)

_Rey Mysterio... his lipgloss is popping._

"What the hell, man? _Usted burro estúpido_!"

_Ouch, don't call me a stupid donkey. I'm no ass._

"Yes you are, jackass! Go fuck yourself." muttered Rey.

_Aww, our itty-bitty masked mini is growing up! He's cursing!_

"FYI, I've hit puberty over twenty years ago. Loser. You haven't."

_Rey Mysterio... LOOK BEHIND YOU!_

Rey jumped out of his seat and turned to the back of his seat. "What the hell, man?"

_Haha. Fooled you. Who's the loser now?_

"Shut up. You are."

_Rey Mysterio... he's bilingual._

"Everyone knows that!"

_Bilingual, bisexual... _

"HEY! Who are you to call me a bi? I am straight and married and have kids! Hello?"

_Rey Mysterio... he eats soup with chopsticks._

"That's stupid! I don't do that."

_Rey Mysterio... he's an alien._

"No I'm not! I'm a legal immigrant of the United States, mind you."

_Rey Mysterio... he streaks._

"I do not! Well, in dares, _yeah,_ but I never do them willingly!"

_Rey Mysterio... he's cheating on his wife again._

"I am not! I don't have any girl to cheat on with her!"

_You never said you didn't have any guys..._

"I don't!"

_Rey Mysterio... he attended a concert for a band he thought sucked._

"That would be dumb! I never did that!"

_Rey Mysterio... he watches gay porn online._

Rey's jaw dropped. "I don't do that! What the hell? Your accusations are so stupid!"

_Rey Mysterio... WHO'S THAT JUMPING OUT OF THE SKY?_

"What? Where?" Rey cried, jumping out of his seat for the second time. Again, nothing was around. "You bastard." he hissed.

_Rey Mysterio... he's a gullible fool._

"Bitch." he hissed.

_Rey Mysterio... he's half robot, half human, half bologna, half wolf._

"What the hell? I'm only one person! I'm completely human, by the way, dumbass!"

_Rey Mysterio... he hasn't brushed his teeth in a year..._

"Okay, let me make things perfectly clear. I can go through a _day_ without brushing my teeth, but _not_ a year!"

_Mysterio! Look behind you!_

"No I'm not!"

_I'm serious!_

"NO."

_There's Eddie... and Chris...  
_

"No!" said Rey, whose eye was twitching.

_Rey! Come on! Oh my God. Oh my God._

"WHAT?!?"

_Look behind you._

"No!"

Eventually, this went on for several hours, and when Rey finally looked behind...

_FOOLED AGAIN, FOOL!_

"GAAHHHH!" screamed Rey. He threw the chair across the room and stormed out.

_Now you know... Rey Mysterio. The not-so-mysterious cheating, gullible idiot that is a bisexual __half robot, half human, half bologna, half wolf__ lipgloss-using itsy bitcy teeny tiny masked little mini. _

* * *

Randomness.

Review?


	12. I Rock Rock and Roll

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

What's up with that? 3,800+ hits and barely ten percent are reviews? LOL. Heh, just surprised that's all.

Well, today I bring you my favorite Canadian, Chris Jericho. And he's baaaaack.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars.._**

_Chris Jericho... he's not who you think he is._

"Excuse me? I am Chris Jericho, Chris Irvine if you wish. And I am a hundred percent real! The AYATOLLAH of ROCK and ROLLAH! Remember that!"

_Chris Jericho... he's a nerd._

"I love playing console and PC games, and so does everyone. Doesn't make me a nerd! You're just saying that because you are one!"

_Chris Jericho... he thinks I'm awesome._

"No I don't. I think that you suck."

_Chris Jericho... he eats steak._

"What the hell?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "Most people do. Nothing you need to reveal."

_RAW._

He cringed. "Gross! You're sick, man, sick. I think I wanna throw up, just thinking of that. You probably eat steak uncooked! Right off the cow! You merciless assclown! The poor thing. What if you were eaten alive?"

_Chris Jericho... he used to dress as a girl when he was a kid._

"No way, loser! Well, _once._ But never again!"

_Chris Jericho... he's never grown out of his habits as a cross dresser... _

"First off, I don't do cross dressing. Next, I never was a gross dresser, so I wouldn't grow out of it!"

_So watch out for the next Vito..._

"Shit, bitch! You little fucker!"

_Chris Jericho... he serenades guys..._

"Guys and girls together, yes. And girls alone. But never guys alone. I am not queer!"

_Who said anything about being queer? I just said you serenaded guys... you could've been paid to do that. You're guilty of being a queer, aren't you?_

"I am not a queer! You are."

_Chris Jericho... he's joined Paul London in the emo ranks..._

"Okay, buddy. I like Paul, but he's not emo, and neither am I."

_Chris Jericho... he goes to the salon every two weeks._

"I only have my hair cut at a barber's place, loser. I only went there once for my highlights, bitch."

_Chris Jericho... he picked up a hooker last night._

"No I didn't!" he said, defensively. "Okay, I did, but I only gave her a ride home."

_After you screwed her..._

"I am not a cheater!"

_Chris Jericho... he sleeps in one-piece pajamas..._

"Yuck! Tacky, you idiot. I don't. I sleep in boxers, in my underwear, or in the-- _hey!_ Why do you care?"

_Chris Jericho... he went swimming in his fish tank._

"I can't fit in there! Besides, I have a bathtub!"

_Chris Jericho... he's drank toilet water._

"Gross! Sick! Quit blaming me for things you did, assclown!"

_Chris Jericho... he supports gay marriage._

"People are free to do what they want!"

_Like who?_

His eye twitched. "Oh no you didn't."

_Chris Jericho... go get a recording studio with Randy._

"With Randy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. His eye twitched after getting the joke. "Listen, assclown. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to blame others. Now, Randy's got a nice ass, but..." he slapped himself.

_See?_

"I just think that! But I don't like him! Honestly."

_He has eyes for someone else..._

He just rolled his eyes, knowing that this was a pointless argument. The less he said, the better.

_Chris Jericho... he lip syncs._

"No! You idiot! I do not!"

_Now you know... Chris Jericho. The lip syncing, gay-marriage supporting, toilet-water-drinking, raw steak eating, crossdressing, guy serenading, emo-nerd that thinks I rock._

"Hey! I am none of the above! I'm going to win at Armageddon! You're not. I rock. You don't! I AM THE AYATOLLA OF ROCK AND ROLLA. NOT YOU. HEY! SPEAK UP!"

* * *

Yippee. Christmas break. 


	13. Hairstylist

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

Jeff Hardy, y'all. Happy New Year. (:

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars._**

_Jeff Hardy... he's obsessed with gay hairstyles._

"What's so gay about my hair?"

_It's a rainbow of colors. That's the symbol of gayness isn't it? That's what happens when you mess with the almighty home highlighting kit!_

"I don't mess with it!" he yelled. "I know how to use it, FYI!"

_Jeff Hardy... his home phone's next to the bathtub._

"What the hell is that, man? I'm not stupid!"

_Jeff Hardy... he loves pink dye._

"No! I hate pink." he said, folding his arms.

_Jeff Hardy... he idolizes Britney Spears._

"Britney's okay." he said. "But she is not my idol!"

_Jeff Hardy... his change is always being stolen... by me._

He gasped. "You filthy little-- I should charge you for stealing! Do you know how much money I'd lost because of you?"

_Five hundred dollars. Ha-ha. I'm five hundred dollars richer and you're five hundred dollars poorer._

"I hate you, you know?"

_Jeff Hardy... he loves eating live caterpillars._

Jeff's jaw dropped. "Worms are one thing, but caterpillars? You're sick!"

_Jeff Hardy... he hasn't taken a shower in a month._

"Gross! I take a shower every day, fool!"

_Jeff Hardy... just got his ass kicked by a baby._

"What? No way would I lose to a baby in a--" he stopped himself. "Shut up already!"

_Jeff Hardy... he plays with Barbie dolls..._

"No I don't. That's girl stuff!"

_Jeff Hardy... he has dreams of becoming a hairstylist._

"I'm perfectly happy as a wrestler, thank you."

_Jeff Hardy... he uses comic books as toilet paper._

"Gross! I wouldn't dream of doing that. It's too expensive for a low purpose!"

_Jeff Hardy... he's poisoned Matt yesterday..._

"Nuh-uh! He's alive and walking!"

_Jeff Hardy... he does ballet."_

"Nope. Nu-uh. Never did, never will."

_Jeff Hardy... his nickname is ldkfdgjadkglad;fd;fsl;f._

"What the hell? How did you pronounce that keyboard-smashing crap? Dude!"

_Jeff Hardy... he's part of the League of Internationally Retarded Hairstylists._

"No such organization exists!"

_That's their catchphrase..._

"What the hell?"

_Now you know... Jeff Hardy, the gay rainbow-hair-obsessed, ballet-class-taking, comic-book-wasting, caterpillar-eating, brother-poisoning, dumbly nicknamed member of the League of Internationally Retarded Hairstylists that dreams of being one_

"Heck they don't know me! You're all lies! I'm gonna find you!"

Jeff ran out of the room, beginning his pointless search.


	14. Candy Kennedy Loser

**Know Your Stars: WWE Edition!**

**SUMMARY:** The phantom Know Your Stars guy comes back to annoy the hell out of the WWE Superstars!

Kennedy... Kennedy. I am SO very sorry for the major lack of updates. Major writer's block on this one.

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all related terms are under the ownership of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I, being the author of the fan fiction, disclaim myself from owning anything here aside from the ideas, writing style, plot, and any other characters, better known as OCs. The author is freed from responsibility of unmonitored content restriction, for the proper signs have been given of what is contained in the fan fiction. None of the events, places, or made-up characters in this story are real, otherwise it would be purely a coincidence. All That is under the ownership of Nickelodeon.

* * *

**_Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars._**

_Mr. Kennedy... he's a narcissist._

"I wouldn't call myself that... I prefer the term more important over everyone else."

_Mr. Kennedy... he's actually five hundred years old._

"Five hundred? Grandpa. Maybe it's you, cause I'm barely past forty."

_Mr. Kennedy... he strips for a living._

"No way! I wrestle for a living, thank you very much. Well maybe selling off stuff on eBay too, but not stripping!"

_Mr. Kennedy... his ass got slapped by a five year old for trying to steal their candy._

"I didn't play tug-of-war with them fool!"

_Ha-ha... I never mentioned anything about tug-of-war, right?_

Kennedy could only slap himself.

_Mr. Kennedy... he fangirls Cake and Cookleta and writes fanfics on LiveJournal..._

"I don't know those pairings! Heck, I don't even watch American Idol. And I don't have a LiveJournal!"

_...and he put a finger inside of him, loosening his opening, and in went another, scissoring and pushing until he screamed..._

Kennedy's face was beet red, and he didn't make any further comments.

_That face just screams guilty._

"Fuck you!"

_Rather not, thanks. Mr. Kennedy... he peed in his mother's china vase._

"Never, you jerk! Maybe you're making me take the blame for all the shit you pulled off!"

_Maybe, but they won't believe you._

"They wlll!"

_Can you name one person that will?_

"Yes! Uh... uhm, let's see, there's..."

Just as I thought. Mr. Kennedy... he tripped his face into a pile of horsecrap.

"That never happened!"

_No one believes you, remember? Mr. Kennedy..._

"Screw you, ass! I'm outta here!" he yelled, throwing the chair across the room and storming out, muttering profanities.

_Now you know... Mr. Kennedy. The stripping, five hundred year old narcissistic guy that no one believes, that tripped into horsecrap, urinated in his mother's vase, writes gay fanfiction, and loses to children in tug-of-war._


End file.
